"Red Button" fetish

- I've a new ...

- Let me see, how does it work?

- Well you should pull the ...

- Wow there's a red button right here.

- No, actually ...

- Let's see what happens when I push it.

- Emm... well, it says that you should NOT ...

- Come on, everything's under control.

- Are you sure? 'cause I've heard that when you push it ...

- Of course I'm sure, It's the 7405th red button in a row.

- Wow, impressive! and what happened when you pushed those red buttons?

- Just sit back and watch, first you pat it gently... all you have to do is to construct a deep communication, you should make it feel that it needs to be pushed by you, you should give it a sense of passion, let it know that it wants to be pushed, just look at it, look how red it got, it's the color of passion, it's the color of ...

- Actually it WAS a "red" but...

- Don't be such a dumb ass, you know what I mean, now it's not just red... it's REEEEDDD... look ... look ... it's the moment ... and now ...

...

- Oops ... It's broken :) ... yours :) ... NEXT!

----

December 16 2009

Aghaye iks va majaraye taghsim bar sefr - I

pish moghadame

gooyand amele aslie kashfe a'dad, goosfandan boode-and! yani yek rooz (ehtemalan garm va tabestani) yek choopan baraye inke az vazi'ate kammie goosfandash motale' beshe, baraye avalin bar az adad estefade karde! ezhare nazar dar morede farkhonde boodan ya manhoos boodane in etefagh ra be khanande vagozar mikonim. vali ma ba donyaye vaghe'i kari nadarim, too donya'i ke dastane ma toosh etefagh miofte na goosfand hast na choopan, pas agar too dastan didid ke revale sakhte shodane a'dad ba tarikh moghayerat dare ta'job nakonid.

***

moghadame

aghaye iks aval khodesho shenakht, va hamoon moghe adade yek ham kashf shod.

ba'd ke atrafianesh o shenakht ba do va se va baghieye a'dad ham ashna shod, fekr mikonam oon moghe hasht nafar atrafesh boodan pas bayad ba a'dade yek ta noh (ba ehtesabe khodesh) ashna shode bashe.

ba'd yeki be atrafianesh ezafe shod va be nachar ba dah ashna shod.

nafare ba'd ke oomad majboor shod ba yazdah ashna she.

ba'd az inke chand nafar dige yeki yeki vared shodand, did in reval e ashna'ie yeki yeki ba a'dad kheyli maskharas, in bood ke tasmim gereft yekja ba hamashoon ashna she, pas hala tamame a'dade sahihe mosbat ro mishnakht.

atrafianesh mioomadan va miraftan va oon ham ba ezafe kardan va kam kardan sare khodesh ro garm kard.

2+3 = 5

3+8 = 11

hata ba inke hichvaght bishtar az 20 nafar dore khodesh nadide bood: 129+792 = 921

13-2 = 11

19-7 = 12

3-7 = ?

-hey man inja be ye moshkeli bar khordam.

-chi shode?

-vaghti mikham hafta az seta kam konam be javab nemiresam.

-chera mikhay hafta az seta kam koni?

-haminjoori.

-velesh kon, bejash se ro az haft kam kon.

-chera motevajeh nisti, be nazaram in ghaziyeye mohemie, ehsas mikonam agar in moshkel hal beshe bashiriat yek gam be jolo bardashte!

-tamoom kon in khoza'balat ro, mikhay begi kheyli divoone'i?

-divoone? manzooret chie? hamin divooneha'i ke migi donya ro sakhtan, va khahand sakht...

-khafe sho! to faghat mikhay jalbe tavajoh koni.

-age too donyaye vaghe'i boodim, ba'd az a'dad bargh ro ekhtera' mikardam ta befahmi jalbe tavajoh yani chi!

-khafe sho! age too donyaye vaghe'i boodim edison in karo mikard.

-nemifahmam chera vaghtamo daram ba in bahse bihoode ba ahmaghi mesle to talaf mikonam.

-chon mikhay jalbe tavajoh koni! ahmagh ham khodeti ke hata balad nisti adaye adamaye doost-dare elm va bashariat ro dar biari, injoor adama az alfazi mesle "khafe sho" va "ahmagh" estefade nemikonan.

-man nagoftam "khafe sho", to gofti.

-hala to ham gofti.

-man az to naghle ghol kardam.

-che farghi dare?

-dari divoonam mikoni.

-khafe sho!

...

khodetoon midoonid akhare in bahs be koja resid, ba a'dade manfi ashna shod.

hala ehsase khasi dasht, a'dade sahihe mosbat az vaghe'iate hozoore afrad kashf shode boodan, vali a'dade manfi, in mojoodate jadid hamoonghadr vaghe'i be nazar mioomadan, vali zadeye fekre khodesh boodan, hes mikard in a'dad be donyaye dige'i mote'aleghand ke tanha ensani ke be in donya ghadam gozashte khodesh boode, az in hes khosh-hal bood, delesh mikhast digaran ham varede in donya beshan.

edameye dastan ham moshakhase:

a'dade gooya

haghighi

mokhtalet

kholase aghaye iks dige hesabi be khodesh eftekhar mikard, hala dige sizdah sal az kashf e yek migzasht (oonha kashfe yek ro mabda'e tarikheshoon gharar dade boodan), ta inke ye rooze nahs (sard va zemestani, fekr mikonam sa'ate sizdah o sizdah daghigheye sizdahomin rooz az mahe sizdahome oon sal bood (too taghvime sarzamine aghaye iks sale sizdahom, sizdah mah dare)) aghaye iks tasmim gereft sizdah ro bar sefr taghsim kone, aval ke did yejaye kar milange khosh-hal shod, ba khodesh fekr kard mesle kam kardane haft az se ke a'dade manfi ro sakht, va taghsime panj ba do ke gooyaharo sakht va radikale bist ke haghighiharo sakht va radikale manfie yek ke mokhtaletharo sakht, hatman taghsime sizdah bar sefr ham a'dade jadidi ro khahad sakht, in bood ke shoroo kard be kalanjar raftan ba taghsime sizdah bar 0...

to be continued...

E'teraf - I - Crazy room

sandalie sade'i bood ke neshastan roosh adamo khaste nemikard, ye sandalie sade vali khosh-sakht az choobe baloot ke too oon tariki ghahve'ie sookhte be nazar mioomad, rooye sandali lam dade bood, pahash ro be halate rahati nim deraz karde bood, va dasthash az aranj be bad roo miz boodan, yek mize khosh-sakhte sade az choobe baloot, rooberoosh ye dar bood. be dar zol zade bood va montazer bood yeki biad too, otagh ye mostatil bood be ab'ade hodoodan se dar char metr va oon dari ke behesh zol zade bood rooye yeki az zel'haye 4 metri bood.

vaghti az poshte saresh sedaye pa shenid ta'job kard, kasi ro too otagh nadide bood, sedaye pa az kenaresh rad shod va raft goosheye chape otagh, sahebe sedaye pa poshtesho karde bood va chehrash ma'loom nabood, ye dastesh too jibesh bood, ba'de chand lahze Adalrico shoroo kard be zarbe zadan be miz, ba sare angoshtash har sanie do se zarbe be miz mizad, sahebe sedaye pa bargasht va oomad oonvar miz, dastesho az too jibesh daravord va gozasht rooye miz, too oonyeki dastesh ye choob bood, choobi ke ye sooratak ro rooye sooratesh negah dashte bood, sooratake yek labkhand, az zire sooratak ye sedaye garm o delneshin goft:

- begoo

- bale?

- goftam begoo

- bebakhshid man motevajeh nemisham, chi bayad begam? aslan inja kojas?

- inja otaghe shomareye sad o chahardahe, lotfan zoodtar harf bezanid, chon man emrooz rooze khastekonande'i ro gozaroondam va mikham zoodtar karam o tamoom konam.

- ozr mikham man vaghe'an motevajeh nemisham, yani nemidoonam chi bayad begam, shoma midoonid man chejoori oomadam inja? maskharas man vaghe'an nemifahmam inja chekhabare va bayad too in sharayet ehsase tars bokonam vali chenin ehsasi nadaram.

- na, mote'asefane man nemidoonam shoma chetor oomadid inja, vali gha'edatan khodetoon bayad bedoonid chio bayad begid, pas lotfan zoodtar begid.

- man vaghe'an delam mikhad komaketoon konam, vali nemidoonam chi bayad begam, va vaghe'an gij shodam, lotfan be man begid man alan kojam, shoma az man chi mikhayd? key mitoonam bargardam?

- be koja bargardi?

- um.... maskharas, nemidoonam bayad bargardam koja. yavash yavash daram mitarsam, inja che khabare?

- khob ba'ziha mesle shoma yekam sakhtgiran, mas'aleye adi'ie, vali negaran nabashid, ma midoonim chetor ba shoma barkhord konim ke hame chiz khoob tamoom she, lotfan be tozihate man khoob goosh konid: man nemidoonam shoma az koja oomadid va tahala ham hichkodoom az kasa'i ke didam nemidoonestan va nafahmidan az koja oomadan, shoma inja bayad ye chizi be man begid ke khodetoon midoonid chie, shayad avalesh kami gij beshid vali age khoob fekr konid mifahmid bayad chi begid, oon dari ke poshte mane sare yek sa'ati baz mishe, va shoma azash mirid biroon, vazifeye man ine ke behetoon begam BE NAF'ETOONE GHABL AZ INKE DAR BAZ BESHE ETERAF KARDE BA...

- ETERAF manzooretoon chie? man be chi bayad eteraf konam? magar man...

- lotfan harfe man ro ghat nakonid, mohem nist che esmi roosh mizarid, dashtam migoftam, vazifeye mane ke behetoon begam GHABL AZ BAZ SHODANE DAR BEHTARE HARFETOONO ZADE BASHID

- vay khodaye man, yavash yavash daram mitarsam. vali bishtar hes mikonam shoma man ro sare kar gozashtid, in bayad ye bazie maskhare bashe...

- bebinid agha, esmetoon chie?

- peh... shoma hata esmam ro ham nemidoonid, esmam Adalrico e

- aghaye Adalrico, man vaghe'an delam mikhad in eterafgiri khoob tamoom beshe, chon emrooz do morede vahshatnak dashtam, khahesh mikonam in halate defa'i ro raha konid, lotfan moghavemat nakonid va ejaze bedid oonche ke bayad etefagh biofte etefagh biofte, man ham komaketoon mikonam, bavar konid ke man mikham komaketoon konam pas lotfan jebhegiri nakonid, hala khoob fekr konid va bebinid chi bayad begid.

- nakheyr aghaye mask, man intor fekr nemikonam, va oon maske maskhareye shoma ham bishtar man ro moztareb mikone, maskharas, man be chi bayad fekr konam? tarjih midam bejaye fekr kardan az shoma bekham ke raje' be khodetoon tozih bedid, va inke chera ye mask roo sooratetoon darin.

- intor ke be nazar miad shoma yeki az oon bad ghelegh ha hastid, khahesh mikonam enghadr porso joo nakonid va bejash fekr konid, in halate konjkave shoma mane'e tafakore maghzetoon mishe, harcheghadr bishtar konjkavitoon ro ebraz konid ba'dan sakhtar mitoonid chizi ke bayad begid ro peyda konid. va lotfan sharayet ro dark konid, shoma nemitoonid az man entezar dashte bashid bedoonam az koja oomadam vaghti khodetoon nemidoonid az koja oomadid.

Adalrico sare jash saf shod va angoshtesh ro be halati tahdid amiz joloye soorate marde maskdar harekat dad va goft:

- LA'NATI MAN CHIZI BARAY GOFTAN NADARAM, CHERA OON MASKE MASKHARAT RO AZ ROO SOORATET BAR NEMIDARI VA BEJAYE INKE MAN RO BA IN DASTANHAYE ELMI TAKHAYOLIT SARE KAR BEZARI ASLE MAJARA RO DOROSTO HESABI NEMIGI? MAN AGE NEMIDOONAM KI HASTAM HADE'AGHAL AZ KASI HAM BAZJOO'I NEMIKONAM.

- SHOMA GHARAR NIST BE MASK E MAN KARI DASHTE BASHID VA BAR KHALAFE OON CHIZI KE SHOMA FEKR MIKONID MAN GHASD NADARAM GHAZIARO ELMI TAKHAYOLI JELVE BEDAM, CHERA BEJAYE IN HAME BAHS O JADAL CHAND LAHZE BE INKE CHI BAYAD BEGID FEKR NEMIKONID? AGE OON DAR BAZ SHE VA ETERAF NAKARDE BASHID KHEYLI BAD MISHE.

to be continued ...